Alien Visitors Discriminate Against Planet Earth

Submitted to CORRUPT by Brett Stevens on Sun, 01/20/2008 - 23:45.
(STEPHENVILLE, TX) - The first verified alien visitors to this central Texas town fled quietly after finding out that their parents were right about earthlings, said one UFO crewmember in a brief interview.
Uiuaiuegti, 16 ("approximation of earth-years relative to our biological cycle"), of distant planet Eaeoejni, claims that he and his cohort Ijvheoedt "borrowed" the intergalactic cruiser for a trip away after an argument over the correct removal of garbage from their alien home. The discussion became heated, the authentication tokens were on the reticular plateau, so Uiuaiuegti grabbed them and picked up Ijvheoedt for a joyride.
What they found, however, confirmed their elders warnings.
Speaking through a transputer, Uiuaiuegti said, "They had always told us Earth was a primitive planet where the stupid ruled through their supremacy of numbers, and the intelligent labored on boring tasks to purchase their way out of slavery to the dumb. They said that on this planet, every word is a lie, and those who recognize the lie are called geniuses only if they don't mention the lie in public, because people prefer a painful lie to the risk of new adventure." Uiuaiuegti shook the combined olfactory/visual appendage we might call a "head."
Ijvheoedt chipped in with a woeful "This planet is hopelessly corrupt, and this is why our technology seems so distant to you. If you spent a few months removing your parasites, and then directed your energies at something more productive than selling each other fanciful visions for personal profit, the stars would be yours. We have seen natural selection in action, and we recognize that our parents were right about Earth, and we would like to go home now."
With that the spacecraft vanished in a Texas sky then vanquished to television antennas, factory chimneys, fighter jets, and advertising.